


The (Not So Giant) Rats of Marylebone

by AKMars



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU, Humor, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mycroft really is a minor government official, PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!!!, Sherlock & John are rats, animal testing, animal welfare groups, ratlock, straddles the line between drama and general nonsense, yes RATS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKMars/pseuds/AKMars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John are rats.  This is the story of how they meet and some of the adventures they have.  Obviously AU, very silly and contains descriptions of animal experimentation.  Please READ and HEED the warnings posted at the beginning of Chapter 1.  Written as a gift for the wonderful portiaeins (yes, you are to blame my dear friend).</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Studies of S.C.R.L.T.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [portiaeins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/portiaeins/gifts).



The Title: The (Not So Giant) Rats of Marylebone  
Chapter I: The Studies of S.C.R.L.T.  
Rating: M  
Characters: Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Mycroft, Molly, Mike Stamford, Mrs. Hudson, OCs.  
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, eventual Greg Lestrade/Mycroft Holmes

Tags: ratlock, Sherlock and John are rats, yes RATS, AU, humor, Mycroft really is a minor government official, animal testing, animal rescue societies, straddles the line between drama and general nonsense, **PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS!**

**WARNINGS:** Story rating is for discussion of medical procedures and mentions of animal cruelty/testing. Vivid description of invasive experiments conducted on test subjects; most of which occur in this first chapter. Do **NOT** read this story if these topics trigger you. 

 

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

 

_Disinfectant…alcohol…antibacterial soap…all overlaid with the pervasive reek of humans. The silver fawn male curled into a tighter ball, ignoring the smells and sounds of the laboratory as best he could._

_Although the block food supplement provided a balanced diet, the rat’s coat was brittle and lackluster. The air inside the sealed work room was dehumidified to prevent the growth of mold and bacteria in the test subjects’ habitats. He was always thirsty because of it, even with access to the automatic watering system servicing the cages. Whenever he wasn’t sleeping or ‘working’, the rat lapped constantly at the drinking tube._

_The rodent shivered in his sleep, it was always cold in the workroom too; **“climate controlled to maintain consistent environmental conditions”** or so the humans continually nattered. The silver fawn just considered it low grade torture._

_He’d overheard two assistants talking about something called a ‘holiday’, one female describing in vivid detail the beautiful weather and hot sun at a place…what was the name again? Ah yes, **Costa del Sol** (wherever that was)…the younger of the two went on and on about how good the warm water felt._

_The rat tried to picture such a place. A few snatches of memory surfaced in his mind…a pile of pups, eyes still unopened….that had been warm. Pushing against his dam’s belly, latching onto a teat and taking in her rich milk….the heat from food and mother both offering comfort to him._

_Using these thoughts as reference points, the buck would imagine somewhere warmer still, and place himself there while his ‘tests’ were being done. Most times it worked and he was able to disassociate enough to block out everything until being returned to his cage._

_The rat woke as his cage rattled along its metal tracks. A sickly, pungent smell surrounded him as he was scooped up by nitrile covered fingers. The silver fawn retreated into his mind again, relaxing into the human’s grip. The technician carried him to the exam table, remarking to her friend on how easy #JW7225 was to handle._

_**“Even better than the lab raised ones. Dr. Sholto should consider buying more litters from that breeder.”**_

_**“Pity this one won’t last beyond his trial.”** The other tech shook her head. **“The Doc should breed 7225 before his vivisection.”**_

_**“A last fling?”** Both techs giggled at the thought of ‘JW’ as they affectionately called the buck, indulging in a night of wild rodent passion._

_The silver fawn was oblivious to all this, picturing himself on a smooth, flat rock…stretched out beneath a bright sun. He could feel the strong rays on his fur, penetrating it to heat his skin and sink still further into him. His belly was cool where pressed against the stone, contrasting nicely with the sunbeams’ warmth. He gave a quiet squeak when he felt a pinch to his haunch, then slipped down into a drowsy haze, his body going pleasantly numb._

_**“I know but he’s got to hold still and a smidge of ketamine/xylazine cocktail does the trick.”**_

_Down….down…down….into a lovely cocoon of heat and tranquility, as if he were wrapped in the softest of nesting materials. The buck sighed deeply, content for the moment to drift in this wonderful place for as long as…… **OWWW! Buggering hell!!**_

_**“Should have given him a bit more. Let’s get this over with fast then.”**_

_A harsh, stabbing pain pierced his shoulder, driving deep into the muscle surrounding the joint. The rat’s eyes flew open but he was unable to move due to the paralytic drugs affecting his system. He squealed in protest, mouth gaping when needle met bone. Foam flecked the rat’s lips as he panted, helpless to escape._

_At once the lab doors slammed open; a dozen figures in rabbit masks, wielding everything from cricket bats to lengths of aluminum pipe ran yelling into the room._

_**“Free our brothers!” “Break the chains of pain!” “No more torture, no more fear!”**_

_The terrified lab assistants screamed and ran for the exit. One of the protestors stepped forward, their white latex lagamorphic visage turning left and right._

_**“Bring in the carriers.”** An authoritative voice cut through the slogan yelling. **“Break open the cages and get as many of them out as you can.”** The leader moved over to the table holding the drugged buck. Gentle fingers removed the probe from the rat’s shoulder and deposited him into a travel cage. The white rabbit turned to the others._

_**“Hurry up; they’ll have called security by now!”**_

_The rest of the activists liberated the remainder of the rats in their chosen lab and ran back the way they’d come._

_When the police arrived all they found was a scrap of cardstock, bearing a crimson paw print. On the reverse was a brief statement:_

 _ **The inhabitants of this facility have been relocated to a humane**_  
_**environment, where they will be free to live out the rest of their**_  
_**natural lives in comfort and safety.**_  
_**\- C.L.A.W.**_

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

 

_two weeks later_

The rat formerly known as JW7225 had been in this new ‘lab’ a fortnight now and he was still confused. His new cage was easily four times as large as the one at St. Bart’s. It had a generous amount of shredded paper bedding (quite warm actually), a hide-box (so nice to get away from prying eyes), cardboard tubes to chew (luxury really) and best of all no ‘trials’…at least….none as yet.

_The buck’s shoulder had been treated and other than having his bedding, food and water changed, he’d been left primarily alone. It had healed nicely, but for some reason his right hip began to ache at odd moments. One human female seemed to have been assigned as his new ‘tech’. She was soft-spoken and made a point of talking to him in soothing tones; even going so far as to offer him treats from her hand._

_The silver fawn went into raptures over his first taste of apple and began to look forward to each new delicacy the female would bring. Raisins, a bit of biscuit (no chocolate of course), lettuce, round of carrot, squash (not to fond of that one), a grape (smashing!) and his absolute favorite: yogurt drops._

_After a week, the buck allowed her to pick him up (no nasty gloves….hmmm). The woman’s hands were gentle, taking care not to put pressure on his shoulder and stroking his back as she praised him. She also named him, 'John', after an uncle of hers._

Today had brought a change in routine. The human had moved him to a smaller cage and carried it to a table in the center of the room. The buck tensed, his fur bristling a bit from nerves. _Were there going to be experiments? Had he been chosen for a ‘trial’ after all?_

The woman set his cage down next to another and stepped away. The former lab rat paced the perimeter of his cube, wondering what was going to happen next.

“Private or NHS?” A deep, inquisitive voice penetrated the silver fawn’s reverie.

_“I’m sorry?”_ The newcomer looked around in puzzlement at the cage next to his. Inside there was another buck, a black rex, staring at him intently.

The rex’s eyes roved over him and John felt as if he were being catalogued. His leg twinged in response. The only other time he’d been subjected to such scrutiny was when the technicians examined him for their ‘study’.

“Which was it, a private firm or the NHS?”

The silver fawn’s whiskers twitched in surprise. “NHS, St. Bart’s actually. I’m sorry how did-“

His examiner pushed his nose through the bars of his own quarantine cube. “How do feel about exercise wheels?”

“Sorry, what?!”

“I run on an exercise wheel when I’m thinking. Sometimes I don’t interact with anyone for days on end, would that bother you?” The rex’s muzzle wrinkled in amusement. “Potential cage-mates should know the worst about each other.”

John gripped the mesh of his cube, squarely facing his neighbor. “One of the others told you about me.” He could smell that there were many other rats in this new lab; surely they had taken note of his arrival.

“Not a word.”

“Then what’s all this about cage-mates?”

“I knew,” the rex said his tone smug. “I don’t have one and I was put into a cube this morning. Now just a few hours later, another cube with a rat in it is put next to mine; clearly one who’s recently been rescued from a medical laboratory, it was no difficult leap.”

The rex turned away and began rummaging in the recycled paper bedding of his cage.

_“How did you know about the laboratory?”_ The silver fawn’s voice was tight.

“I’m in a small cage currently but I’ve got my eye on a nice one in the next room. If we’re together then the human will put us there.” The rex looked over his shoulder and John almost laughed at the bits of shredded paper festooning the curls on the other rat’s head.

“I’ll talk to you again tomorrow but I’ve got business to take care of now.”

John chuffed in annoyance. “Is that it?!”

“Is that what?”

“We’ve only just met and you’re talking about becoming cage-mates.”

The rex tilted his head. “Problem?”

“We don’t know a thing about each other….I don’t even know your _name_!”

The other rat shook his head and regarded the new buck again. 

“I know you’re a former test subject, recently liberated from a research facility. You’ve a limp in your right hind-leg, but the vets can’t find any injuries that would explain it so it must be psychosomatic. That’s enough to be going on with, don’t you think?”

John stared at the other rat in shock, ears swiveling back and forth in confusion.

The rex looked at him again, a glint of mischief showing in the dark eyes. “The name’s Sherlock and you’ve been brought to Parliament Rat Rescue. Afternoon.”

With that, the rex buried himself under a pile of shredded tissues.

John sat staring at the lump of Kleenex. After a long moment he heard a quiet chuckle from the shelf opposite. He turned to see a portly, agouti hooded male looking at him in amusement.

“Yeah…he’s always like that.”

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

 

NOTES: So….’ratlock’….I really, really can’t say where this came from. I do have pet rats, which helps with research I suppose. Neither of my boys resembles John and Sherlock however (though one is a silver fawn). Rex’s do have curly coats (although Sherlock’s longer head fur is an author’s liberty), silver fawns are a gorgeous blonde color with deep ruby red eyes (which suit John’s character, I think). Agoutis have what most people think of as the typical ‘wild rat’ brindled brown fur coloration.

The majority of horrible, medical descriptions and animal experimentation scenes are over now. Further chapters will follow the progression of John & Sherlock’s relationship as well as showing where Mycroft & Lestrade fit into all this madness. The story itself will not be a long one, although one-shots from my Sherlock ‘Ratverse’ may pop up from time to time as the mood takes me. To my POI readers: patience dear ones! Updates to my in-progress fics WILL be forthcoming. My muse is back but he's doling out creative ideas with no rhyme or reason (hence the ratlock, lol)!

Anagrams used are as follows-

 **S.C.R.L.T.** : **S** t. Bartholomew **C** linical **R** esearch **L** aboratory **T** rials.  
**C.L.A.W.** : **C** oalition for **L** aboratory **A** nimal **W** elfare


	2. The Scramble Towards Bohemian

The Title: The (Not So Giant) Rats of Marylebone  
Chapter II: The Scramble Towards Bohemian  
Rating: M  
Characters: Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Mycroft, Molly, Mike Stamford, Mrs. Hudson, OCs.  
Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, eventual Greg Lestrade/Mycroft Holmes

Tags: ratlock, Sherlock and John are rats, yes RATS, AU, humor, Mycroft really is a minor government official, animal testing, animal rescue societies, straddles the line between drama and general nonsense.

 **NOTES:** Sherlock  & John meet formally. For the sake of moving the narrative along, the process of introducing two strange rats to each other has been streamlined. Once again: portiaeins-this one’s for you!

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

 

_A large, gloved hand held him immobile; the scent of disinfectant clinging heavily to the human’s fingers. His eyes rolled up to meet the man’s own, cool and detached above the white mask obscuring the pale, hairless face._

_Dr. Sholto was taking him somewhere…a small annex off the main lab. The acrid stench of urine hit the rat’s nose and he sneezed. The vivisection room. He was going to be culled!_

_The buck began to struggle in Sholto’s grip, which only resulted in the fingers squeezing him more tightly. He heard the human draw in a breath as the hand continued to clamp down harder on him. The doctor’s deep voice echoed in the enclosed space and the rat felt the painful pressure on his lungs increase…._

**“Boxing!”**

The bellow in his ear drove him violently from his nightmare and back into reality. John shot up from his nest, scattering shreds of paper toweling everywhere. The buck gasped, his heart still slamming against his ribs.

“About time you woke, I’ve been calling you for ages.” 

“Bloody hell!” John turned towards the cube next to his and glared at the staring rex. 

_“Sherlock?”_

“Boxing…..” the younger buck repeated, in a more moderate tone now that John was responding to him. “The humans will expect us to do so when we’re introduced.” 

_“Boxing?! _What are-“__

The rex shot John a withering look. “One thing you’ll learn quickly is that I loathe repeating myself…boxing!” 

Sherlock began pacing back and forth along the mesh wall. “When two strange bucks meet a certain amount of conflict is expected as the dominance order is established.” 

“So let me get this straight, you _want_ us to fight?” 

The rex huffed impatiently. “Only enough for show. In actuality there’s no question which of us is more dominant, of course.” 

John gritted his teeth at the smugness in Sherlock’s tone. 

The rex burrowed back into his pile of tissue. “Do make it look good tomorrow, won’t you?” he said before disappearing entirely. 

“Oh don’t worry mate, I will….” The older buck muttered. 

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

“How long has it been?” 

“Two days sir. Shall we try introducing them?” 

A slender, ginger-haired man studied the quarantine cubes; his gray eyes thoughtful. “We might as well. At least if it doesn’t work, we can give….what are you calling the new buck again?” 

“John, Mr. Holmes. He looks like a John I th-“ 

“Yes…..quite Miss Hooper. If they don’t suit each other, we can always try John with another buck, Stamford perhaps.” 

“What about Sherlock in that case?” 

Mr. Holmes sighed. “Then he’ll have to go into solitary permanently. If no one is willing to adopt him as a single, Sherlock will live out his days here.” 

“He won't be returned to the breeder, will he?” 

“Certainly not.” The man’s reply was sharp. “If we do that, Moriarity won’t try to find a home for him…he’ll choose an alternative solution.” 

Mr. Holmes looked at his volunteer. “We all know what that will be.” 

Sherlock, overhearing their conversation, shivered in his Kleenex nest. He didn’t relish the prospect. James Moriarity was obsessed with the exotic; breeding not only rexes like Sherlock but hairless, tailless, satins and dwarf rats as well. Napoleon Rattery’s owner was equally obsessed with perfection. When his ‘projects’ failed to meet his very exacting standards, well…Sherlock had seen the results. Indeed he did know what his fate would be if he was returned to Moriarity’s tender mercies. 

_Most likely I shall end up lining the stomach of some human’s **Python regius**._

The six months he’d been at Parliament were the pinnacle of luxury compared to his birthplace. Granted the humans kept insisting that he needed a cagemate. Sherlock had already driven off or been trounced by four other bucks to date… _why were all other rats so tedious? Eat, drink, sleep, chew…all day, every day in an endless cycle. Not one of them ever proved interesting!_

Which was why when 48 hours ago he was put yet again into a cube, he was surprised to actually find himself liking this new buck. Sherlock thought back to their first meeting. The faint scent of antiseptic clinging to the silver fawn had intrigued him and his quick study of the older rat only piqued his interest further. The rex couldn’t help but wonder if this time, things might play out differently. 

“Prepare the table, Miss Hooper. We’ll try them together this afternoon.” 

Sherlock surfaced to see his neighbor watching the humans with interest. The silver fawn caught the rex staring and moved over to the wire. 

“What?” 

“Be ready….the game is on!” 

Perhaps Sherlock’s air of gleeful anticipation should have made him wary but John felt a tingling in his whiskers at the thought of change….change for once that would involve his active choice and participation rather than as the forced captive he had been. 

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

_later that day_

John was pleased to see the brown-haired woman approaching. He’d hoped she’d be the one to carry him to his ‘meeting’ with Sherlock. 

“Yes….one Molly Hooper. Volunteer, been with Parliament for three years. Low self-esteem, fancies the director, Mycroft Holmes. She’d like to mate with him but unbeknownst to her, he is only attracted to other males.” 

Sherlock’s bored comment floated over to him and he looked over his shoulder. “How could you possibly know all that?” 

“Observation. Most creatures see but they don’t perceive. I notice things, things overlooked by almost everyone. Tiny details, insignificant-seeming, which speak volumes to anyone open to interpreting them.” 

“Which is how you knew about the lab….” John blinked. “That’s amazing.” 

The rex tilted his head in disbelief. “You think so?” 

“Of course,” his neighbor replied…”Quite extraordinary.” 

Sherlock hummed. “That’s not what other rats have said.” 

“And what did other rats say?” 

“Piss off.” 

John laughed. 

Sherlock couldn’t quite hide a smile in response. 

John’s cage was lifted and he called back to the rex. “Who’ll bring you over?” 

“That insufferable idiot Mycroft I’m certain." Sherlock grinned, showing his sharp incisors. “All the other humans are afraid of me.” 

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

Just as the rex predicted, the director moved his cage over to the ‘introduction table’. The first four of Sherlock’s potential match ups ended here with bloodshed on both sides. A frisson of excitement ticked beneath his skin. He’d already gotten along better with this new buck in two days than the any other member of his species. If that didn’t bode for a successful outcome then really, what did? 

The table was just like the rest of its portable kin, with the exception that a wooden railing had been installed all the way round it. Clean towels lined the meeting space and all that remained was for the rats to be placed in this neutral environment. With no territorial markings claiming ownership on either side, it was hoped that the bucks might be inclined towards sociability. 

Sherlock didn’t struggle when Holmes picked him up. Mycroft was the only human in the rescue organization who could handle the notoriously temperamental rex. Man and buck regarded one another a moment. The director wasn’t cruel or heavy-handed but Sherlock knew from their first encounter that Mycroft would not be put off by his surly behavior. 

He glanced over to see John resting comfortably in the crook of Molly’s arm, eyes closed in bliss as the volunteer rubbed his ears with a gentle finger. Sherlock snorted in disgust, causing Mycroft to raise an eyebrow at the high-pitched sneeze. 

“All right Miss Hooper, into the fray.” 

Both rats were released onto the table at the same time. Sherlock sat where he was placed, waiting to see how the fawn buck would play things. John for his part immediately went to investigate the wooden walls on his end of the table. After giving the planks a good look over he snuffled around the towels; seemingly oblivious to the other rat’s presence even as he moved closer all the time. 

“Oh just get on with things already!” Sherlock squeaked, marching straight up to the other buck. 

John lifted his head and thrust his muzzle into the rex’s space. “You sure about this, Sherlock?” 

“Yes! Now let’s get to it.” 

“Fair enough…” John arched his back, his fur standing on end as he rose to his hindlegs. 

The younger buck stood up as well. It pleased the rex to see he was taller than the fawn. _A few swats and growls then I’ll pin him and we’ll be done with this nonsense._ He lifted his forepaws in anticipation of their coming to grips when he found himself unceremoniously bowled over. 

John hit him low and fast, using his bulk to knock Sherlock off balance and then laying over the rex, his bared teeth pressed into the younger rat’s neck. 

“Oh, Sherlock!” 

“Hold a moment, Miss Hooper.” The director raised a hand to stop his volunteer from interfering. 

Sherlock gasped, his breathing compromised by the heavy body weighing him down. His eyes bulged, staring into the middle distance as his brain tried to process what had just happened. 

_He pinned me?! None of the others pinned me! Can’t move…too heavy…teeth against jugular….could kill me if he wanted to…no scent of aggression….why doesn’t he smell angry?_

The fawn chuckled through his teeth, his voice muffled by Sherlock’s fur. “C'n hear you thinkin’…” He began to groom the rex, nibbling at the fur along his throat before moving up to snuffle in Sherlock’s ear. 

Sherlock relaxed….the older buck’s whiskers tickled the sensitive skin around his ear causing him to involuntarily squeak. Instantly he felt his body flush…. _that’s never happened before! What is going on?_

He squeaked again, louder this time as his opponent had just taken Sherlock’s scruff in his teeth, giving the rex a small shake. John released his hold, pushing his nose into Sherlock’s ear again. 

“So, have we settled that _dominance thing_?” 

Sherlock stubbornly remained silent. 

John leaned harder on the rex, feeling Sherlock exhale sharply as the fawn allowed his full weight to squash the younger buck against the table. 

“Ye-yes…fine…you’re the dominant one.” 

The fawn chuckled relaxing a fraction and allowing Sherlock to draw breath. 

“And my name, as you’ve never bothered to ask it, is John. 

“John…right.” Sherlock wheezed. “Any chance of you letting me up in the near future?” 

John stood, allowing the younger rat to get shakily to his feet and back away. Sherlock shook himself, then squatted on his haunches and began a thorough grooming to settle his fur. He glanced sulkily at John, only now fully appreciating the compact solidity of his cagemate’s frame. 

“We understand each other now, yeah?” John asked affably. 

“Quite.” 

“Ta then, mate.” John plopped down at the rex’s side and began to groom as well. The air of calm between the two rodents permeated the whole room. 

Watching from his cage up on the shelf the agouti-hooded buck Stamford shook his head. “I’d never have believed it.” 

“I think its lovely….” cooed a quavering, elderly voice from the corner. “Poor Sherlock’s been by himself for ever so long.” 

“Yes, thank you for that completely unwanted opinion Mrs. Hudson!” the rex shouted as he combed his back. 

John chuckled to himself as he meticulously cleaned his tail. 

Mycroft and Molly had stood transfixed throughout the proceedings; the woman staring in open-mouthed amazement while the director, his eyes narrowed in speculation, silently listened to the squeaks and churrs coming from all corners of the room. 

“I think this will work Mr. Holmes.” 

“Apparently, against all the odds it seems that Sherlock has found himself a friend.” 

**rodentlockrodentlockrodentlockrodentlock**

NOTES: There are many excellent resources online which provide wonderful advice in the matter of adding a new rat to your current pets or putting strange rats together. Please search for ‘introducing pet rats to one another’ and don’t forget to check out YouTube as well! 


End file.
